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I thought I came up with the concept of “If you like it, then you better put a bird on it” Beyoncia mashup, but it turns out that already exists. So I made this instead.
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3 Things That Should Not Exist But Do:
- Ed Hardy Incense Kit - I happened upon this gem at the counter at 7-11. Like many of the other items in the 7-11 impulse buy section, this seems to be aimed at shoppers whose impulses were probably bad enough as it is. I didn’t check out the scent selection, but I imagine they are based on Axe body sprays, or possibly just remove the middle man and actually smell like meth, right out of the box.
- The Princess Bride Video Game - When you get kicked out of World of Warcraft for not being cool enough, this is your last refuge.
- Hot Dog Toaster - This may be the exact reason I do not currently own a toaster. There are simply too many options, and I get exasperated and end up drinking myself to sleep instead. That being said, I’m almost 100% sure this was something I invented when I was baked out of my mind and even then I thought, “No, that’s too stoney baloney for anyone to actually purchase.” Apparently I was wrong.
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My overly-ambitious rally cry used to be “I SHOULD BE FAMOUS!” but has recently been downsized to something more manageable: “I should have a blog.”
